Stellar
by Grinning Reaper
Summary: 3x4 Song fic to a song by Incubus by the same name. Quatre and Trowa are in outer space, Quatre is star gazing and Trowa is Quat gazing ^,^ really sweet and sappy please r


Disclaimer (as done by Wufei): LEAVE THE ONNA ALONE ALREADY!!! SHE OWNS NOTHING!!! How sad.  
  
Warnings: slight angst, LOTS of yaoi, enough sap to fill a redwood, and Trowa might be a tad OC.  
  
This is my very first attempt at a song fic and my very first attempt at sap! Please be nice!  
  
//stuffs// =Song lyrics jus' so ya know.  
  
//*~Stellar~*//  
  
//Meet me in outer space, we could spend the night, watch the earth come up//  
  
He's floating just a few feet away from me. So close. I can hear him breathing, smell his scent, (sandal wood and a soft heady fragrance that vaguely reminds me of roses.) and for the love of God, I can even feel the heat rising off of his body. He's got his little hands pressed against the glass of the large viewing window staring out into the endless velvet blackness, he looks like a small child peering in the window of a toy store. I wonder what his fingers would feel like if they were pressed against me instead of the glass.but no. I can't think like that. It would never happen. Thinking like that only pushes the thorn deeper into the wound. And he's the rose that comes with it. "I can never get over it." He muses aloud. I gaze at him questioningly. "Space." He voices silently. "I can never get over how breathtakingly beautiful it is." Just like I can't get over how breathtakingly beautiful you are? "Every time I see it, it's like I'm looking at it for the first time." He murmurs. That's what I love about him. About Quatre. He can marvel at the simple, beautiful things that we all take fro granted. Seeing space to the rest of us is now a normal procedure. But he still looks at it and loves it each time we go. As if he sees it with new eyes every time. "Aa," I mumble. I am beside him, held grounded by the railing that I am clinging to so that I may sit on it instead of float, my back away from the window. "Isn't Earth beautiful Trowa?" He breathes. I gazed at the cloud swirled orb that was once home to all humans. "It's overrated if you ask me."  
  
//I've grown tired of that place, won't you come with me? We could start again.//  
  
"What makes you say that?" Quatre turns his liquid blue eyes toward me. Like Quatre says that he can never get over seeing space, I can never get over looking in his eyes; having that warm gaze focused solely on me. Sometimes, I feel like I can drown in those pools. They're bluer than any water. "It's just like the colonies." I replied with a one-shoulder shrug. Quatre's thin brows furrowed. "What makes you say that? Instead of artificial winds they have real ones. Earth is where human life started. It's beautiful." He smiles that light little smile of his. "Right Trowa?" I feel my heart melt like hot steel under that smile. The steel trickles down my sides and between my legs and I feel warm all over. I wonder if Quatre is aware of the things he can do to me with just one smile. //How do you do it? Make me feel like I do?//  
  
It hurts sometimes. To be this close to him, I mean. But it's so nice just to sit with him that it's a pain I can endure. Most of the time anyways. I stare at him out of the corner of my eyes. He looks so innocent. Too kind, too gentle and too loving to have committed any of the monstrosities he has. Sometimes, I hear him crying in his sleep. He unwittingly apologizes to all the innocents he's killed, to his family. I even heard him once say he was sorry to me. Sometimes the urge to go into his room and comfort him is too strong. I have to get up and go somewhere else, where I can't hear him. But that doesn't help much, because I can still feel him. "Yes," I agree at last, "beautiful." But, I wasn't talking about the earth. "Trowa," Quatre begins quietly. "Do you ever feel sorry for killing people?" his eyes search mine, pleading for an answer. "I try not to think about it." I admit. Quatre considers this. "How?" he asks tilting his head. I pause before I answer. "I stopped counting all the lives I take." I replied finally. Storm clouds sweep over his endless blue eyes. "How long did it take you to stop?" He asks softly. "Twelve." I say. He looks at me shocked, "Only twelve people?!?" I smile mirthlessly. "No Little One. That's how old I was before I quit counting." He stares at me, face aghast. "I'm sorry Trowa." He whispers. "Don't be." There is a long silence. And within the screaming of the hushed atmosphere, I have time to think. Being in love with Quatre is confusing. I'm sadder than I've ever been, but at the same time, I'm happy, loving him actually makes me happy. I wasn't aware that I was capable of that emotion until one day, a petite boy with bright hair like molten gold walked out of his Gundam and surrendered to me. When I first saw him.  
  
//How do you do it? It's better than I ever knew.//  
  
I stare at him again. There's something hypnotic about him, when I'm close to him, I feel like I'm the waves of the ocean and he's the moon. The force of gravity pulls me to him, and I'm too entranced to stop it. He sighs slightly and brushes some of his hair out of his eyes. What could he be sighing for? I repress the urge to reach out and stroke his cheek. His skin looks so smooth. As if it's never been broken by the pains of war. Mine has. Many times, and more often than not, it's my doing rather than an enemy's.  
  
//Meet me in outer space, I will hold you close if you're afraid of heights.//  
  
Sometimes I worry that I might loose him. That someday the claws of war will fold around him and snatch him away from us. Away from me. I know, I'm being selfish, and I'm aware of it. But I can't help it. Because it Quatre, if it were anyone else, I probably wouldn't care. Callous of me to admit isn't it? Quatre gazes out the window still, unaware that I'm scrutinizing him so closely. He's too good and too pure for this world. I want to wrap my arms around him and keep him from this ugly world. This ugly, sad, world, I want to make him stop hurting. But I can't. I don't know how he would feel if he knew that I loved him. It won't be able to happen anyways. He's an heir. This sort of thing is not approved in his family.  
  
//I need you to see this place, It might be the only way that I can show you how if feels to be inside of you.//  
  
There is this longing inside of me and it aches. It aches like hell. I want to hold him, to touch him, to kiss him, be near him, to know that he loves me, and yes even to feel myself inside him. I won't lie about it. I have thought about having sex with him. I am not of the pure minded. But Lord it hurts to think like that. To even begin to imagine what it would be like if we were.together. I turn my head away from him. As much as I hate to admit it, tears are surging up in my eyes.  
  
//How do you do it? Make me feel like I do?//  
  
"Trowa." Quatre whispers softly, "why are you hurting?" I don't respond. There are no tears on my face, but if I speak, they will betray me. "Trowa?" he asks again. I feel him moving next to me.  
  
//How do you do it? It's better than I ever knew.//  
  
A few fugitive drops of saline escape my eyes, but because we are in so little gravity, they don't stream down my face. Instead, they float upwards and away from me in little globes of pain and heartbreak. It's the strangest thing to be crying but to have no tears on your face. Quatre's drifted over so he's facing me. "Oh." there's a slight tremor in his voice when he sees my face. He wraps me into a tight hug. I feel my body stiffen against his. His skin is so warm.just like I thought it'd be. "It's because of me isn't it? You hurt because of me. It's my fault." He murmurs, more to himself than to me. "No," I speak at last in a raspy, shaky voice. "My fault for being a fool." He gazes up at me and catches another flying tear in his mouth. "Why?" he asks after tasting the salty liquid. I couldn't take it anymore I had to tell him. Even if he hit me. Even if he killed me. Even if he said that he would hate me forever and never spoke to me again. At least he'd know. And it might make me feel better. "Why Trowa?" I draw in a big breath. "For being foolish enough to fall in love with you and expect you to feel the same. That's why I-"  
  
//Oooh you are stellar, yeah you are stellar.// Before I had a chance to finish, he crushed his lips against mine. He's kissing me. The more I say it too myself the harder it is to believe. Before I knew what I was doing, my tongue traced over his soft pink lips, asking for an entrance. With a little moan, he opened his mouth to let me explore.  
  
//How do you do it? Make me feel like I do?//  
  
I felt my hands let go of where they were tightly clenching the railing let go and wrap around his waist to pull him closer. The inside of his mouth tasted so good. Like peaches and cream, which I've only had once but now I think I'll try it more often. [1] His lips left mine abruptly and found my neck. I groaned as his quick little tongue discovered a sensitive spot. "What was all this about being foolish?" He asked as he rocked his hips against mine, causing me to groan again. "You're going to pay for that." I growled with false menace before kissing him again, my previous sorrow forgotten.  
  
//How do you do it? It's better than I ever knew.//  
  
*~*OWARI*~*  
  
Well, that sucked and swallowed. Please review tho. I like those. ^,^ Thanks 4 reading this, ::sigh:: maybe one day I'll crank out a good one.  
  
[1] He's not talking about eating the dessert; he's talking about kissing Quatre more often. Juts thought I'd clear that up. Trowa: ^,\\ 


End file.
